Tales From Quarantine: Mother's Day
Mother's Day cakes made by my children. Please note the chapsticks shoved into the top.
Like many of you, we spent Mother’s Day in Quarantine. It’s ok, you can laugh at this idea. I have. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids. They are my favorite people, most of the time. This Mother’s Day not so much. I’ve been with them non-stop for 600 days (I know I’m exaggerating but it feels that long.) I knew Mother’s Day in quarantine was going to be different. Not different then every other day in quarantine but different from years past.
Let me explain, Mother’s day has always been nice. We’d spend the day together, have brunch/lunch/dinner, I’d get handmade treats from my tiny people, attempt a nap, and to do no ‘chores’. But last year I finally had a brilliant idea. I took Mother’s Day and I made it MY bitch. Last year, after having been a mom for 12 years I told my husband ‘I will spend Mother’s Day with my family, but the day before. That’s the REAL Mother’s Day.’ I told him I was leaving at 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning and I would meet them at church at 9:30 a.m. Sunday morning. I planned to get a mani/pedi. A massage and facial. Went shopping. I bought myself a bottle of wine. Ate where I wanted and what I wanted and wait for it. I did it ALONE…and stayed in a hotel. Mic drop. It was fucking glorious. I was so jealous of myself.
Before anyone feels bad for my husband or says how could you get him to agree to that, let me preface this by saying my husband plans trips with his friends and tells me when he’s going. Not ‘do you mind’ or ‘hey my friends are planning a trip to….’ He usually slides it into a conversation and tags one of his friends as having some major occasion everyone’s going to celebrate. So don’t feel bad for him.
I told him when I got back that I had such a great time I was making it a two night affair next year and leaving on Friday instead of Saturday. I was so excited to plan my day this year, and then we enter in a Global Pandemic. So yeah, this year Mother’s Day was going to be WAY different. In a lot of ways but I was going to embraced it.
And then everyone started to wake up. At 6:30 a.m. when they’ve been continuously sleeping in till 9:30 a.m. and beyond. I woke up to the sound of my daughter screaming “MAMA!!!” at the top of her lungs. My husband didn’t even stir. As in no break in his snoring. No little jolt like he heard something that should awaken him from his slumber so his wife could sleep in for ONE DAY! Nothing. So, I thought ‘Let’s do this!’ I’m going to embrace the hell out of today. Our kids are going to remember Mother’s Day as the best day with their mom. Filled with cooking fun, Mom being relaxed and not arguing with anyone to clean up, to flush the toilet, to stop screaming for no apparent reason. You get the picture. You want to run around in your Ninja Turtle underwear all day my man, have at it. It’s Mother’s Day!
I had planned a delicious brunch, made sure everyone in attendance had something they would enjoy. I planned because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. I spoke to my husband and he was fine, of course, with not having to extensively plan anything. I planned homemade pancakes, fruit salad, hash browns, sausage, scrambled eggs, toast and had ordered a quiche and crab cakes (* 2 of my mom’s favorites. I aspire to be like Martha but even I know my limitations.) Embrace the day I did! I always loved cooking with my mom and really cherish those memories and my kids were going to today also!
As if it was on cue the second child woke up crankier than the first. Then another till the oldest was up. And the arguing continued. Apparently the size of a pancake can make a teenagers head spin around if questioned about it. I asked for their help thinking we could have a cute bonding memory making morning making brunch together. Thirteen years being a mom and I still get aggravated that they don’t jump into the idea with a smile. So, while I was whisking away, chopping furiously, I made the mistake of asking our two older ones to help. To help because they can actually be given cooking tasks unlike the 2 little ones who have to be monitored every step but also for the fun! Of course the two naked toddlers were the only ones enthusiastic about it. Putting in too much salt, flinging the whisk around making flour fly ever where, managing to take out every utensil in the drawer and who doesn’t like egg shells in their pancakes? Not this mom!
I was, what can only be described as a maniac, in the kitchen. Trying to make scrambled eggs while I was simultaneously cutting fruit and overseeing the pancake recipe (which I found on good Ol’ Martha’s website. Her recipe can be found here:
https://www.marthastewart.com/1515526/test-kitchens-favorite-buttermilk-pancakes). Making sure the quiche was in on time, the crab cakes were in, the hash browns were actually cooking and refereeing arguments with my older two. My ‘no arguing’ mantra clearly didn’t translate to them. My husband came down stairs just in time to see me fraying at the seams and offer a Mimosa. I appreciated that he asked but at this point he should have just made it and handed it to me. He’s not new, here come on!
Side note, the pancakes were amazing!! Even with the extra salt, and god knows what else was done to them while I was multitasking and allowing a 2 ½ year old to mix them. I mean of course they were amazing, they came from Martha’s kitchen. I even had to make the buttermilk (gag) because we didn’t have it. We’re in a pandemic remember?! I tried to get some but it was sold out on the website for our grocery store. 5 grocery stores but who’s counting. I made buttermilk! Thank you Martha! I will say they are more ‘labor intensive’ then say, a box pancake mix but guess what? Come closer so no one can hear…they TASTE better! Hand to god. And by labor intensive I mean a couple more ingredients and a toddler helped so ya know…
Our brunch went well. The food tasted great and we had minimal leftovers. That basically equaled success in my book. I had a few mimosas throughout the course of the morning and brunch. I mean it was the least I could have asked for. The day was gorgeous weather wise and after everyone climbed out of their own asses we ended up having a nice day. I sat outside with my parents, which I’m so thankful we’ve quarantined with them so we were able to enjoy the day together.
Just as I was about to count this day as a complete win a bird shit on my leg. And I didn’t realize it till I wiped my hand across it.
Happy Mother’s Day.
We ended the night snuggling looking for birds.
· I’ll talk more about my parents in another post, but they live on our property, have health concerns and are in the very vulnerable category of this illness. At the beginning of this we isolated ourselves from them for the first two weeks, which is hard when your kids love their grandparents and vice versa that they want to see each other often and don’t understand why they can’t. After the 2 weeks were up we decided to start being around each other again. Socially distanced at first and then in another 2 weeks we allowed the kids to see them more, give high fives, etc.